I know it's Christmas and I know it's a happy time of year. For some reason, as years go by, my Christmas gets lonelier and lonelier. I say this because I have lost, yet again, another good friend.

This time, a fellow teacher named Diane, who I had been friends with for most of my life passed away unexpectedly last July. Even though we couldn't see each other on a regular basis after she retired from teaching, we spoke to each other by phone at least twice a month. She loved coming over to San Francisco to visit. She didn't live far. She lived in the East Bay and she would take BART so we could have lunch, sightsee in the city and go shopping in Union Square. This we did for decades. I was in London last summer, about to return home when I got word of her demise. It was so sudden. To think, we even talked on the phone the day before I left for my trip to Europe last June.

We talked just about everything. Many times, we also talked about death. Two years ago, I told her about a young woman I who grew up with in Madrid. Catherine was her name and she was like a younger sister to me. She had moved to London and had raised her two children in Surrey. One day she woke up, had breakfast, went to the bathroom to piss and then sat at the sofa to watch the morning news. Minutes later, she had a heart attack and died in her dad's arms.

I remember Diane saying that when her time came, she hoped that she would go quickly. I am just thankful that when she did pass on, she went fast. There was neither pain nor suffering.

It is a cliche, but there's a lot of truth to the saying that tomorrow is not guaranteed. This I learned after losing four friends, one after another in the last four years. Two of them didn't know their time was up. They just went.

I am sad no doubt but I am thankful nonetheless for having had a friend like Diane. I miss you Diane! YOU have no idea. Merry Christmas to you there in Heaven.